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Bigfoot spotted

April 1, 2014

Photo by Justin Lawrence/Photoshop by Julie Garrison

Bishop residents were shocked Monday afternoon when a creature that witnesses said resembled a Sasquatch turned up in Whitney Alley. Register photographer Justin Lawrence was on the scene and snapped a photo of the beast – described as ape-like in appearance, at least 7 feet tall standing upright, covered in thick dark hair – as it walked into Black Sheep Espresso Bar in front of startled onlookers. Said Lawrence, “He just kind of strode right by, looked over at me for a second, and walked into Black Sheep. I think he ordered a frappacino.” At press time, a team of cryptozoologists from Northern California was en route to confirm the sighting, and to collect any DNA samples – which could once and for all definitively prove bigfoot’s existence – that may have been left behind by the mysterious visitor. Also, April Fool’s.

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